Lost

I am a reck, and I am pretending that i'm not running a marathon in 68 days... or 66, or whatever it is today. I know if I just put in the time, I can do it and finish, I am just nervous as hell. I was watching biggest loser last night, and they all completed one, these people that have been overweight and lost 100+ pounds in the last 5 months.... they did it, and they did it in a respectable about of time (well lets face it, them finishing in any amount of time is respectable) however, I am not overweight, I am not out of shape, I there for feel I have high expectations. I should be doing it, and doing it "fast" The goal is to break 4, and i feel like maybe i need to take a step back and just take it for what it is, and plan to just finish, wear the watch with my pace and all that on my ankle or somewhere I can't worry about time... what is time, its always just something to rush you, and not allow you to just enjoy what you are doing. Maybe I just need to do it to do it, everything is a race, a competition, something to prove... maybe i need to realize i am proving enough doing it, I don't need to be the best, or to have some set time I want to hit, maybe I just need to be in it, really be in it, and enjoy it, it should be a celebration, it is an impressive feat, that not just anyone can do.

I happen to live in a very healthy state overall, and I think I have a mis-conception of my body and a good body, and success....
I need to live in the moment, enjoy running around san francisco... I'll get to the finish line when I get there...

funny how 26.2 miles is more of a mental battle then a physical one (at least at this point)